Saturday, February 7, 2009

A Capital Idea

I've received press releases that made me giggle, a few that mystified me, and a handful that got my goat in the past quarter century. And then, I opened this little gem this week:

dear ms. sturgeon,

i would love to discuss with you a story
about what happens upon graduation
from a school of hospitality-

the question i would like to work with you on to answer is-
who is getting the jobs and why?
and where the jobs are.

i would like to introduce you to the hospitality industry
using the fiu school of hospitality as a jumping off point.

as you know, the hospitality industry is contracting, a bit
but graduates of the fiu school of hospitality are still getting jobs in the industry-
from restaurants & hotels, from casinos to cruise lines- to starting one's own business.

the hospitality industry is a career
that draws up on a balance of education & skills, experience & contacts,
with a natural desire to please-
but do people know what hospitality really is....

i would love to work with you on a story about hospitality in motion-
a behind the scenes look
at south beach wine & food festival-
with fiu school of hospitality students as your guide.

the students have been given responsibilities that in the real world would have to be paid for:
from soliciting restaurants to sponsorship fulfillment to cooking food served up by celeb chefs.

(for your reference, south beach wine & food festival, the nation's largest such event in the country,
raises money for the school of hospitality for scholarships, curriculum and faculty. students work side by side
with some of the most innovative chefs, sommeliers and cocktail inventors working in the industry
jamie oliver, giada de laurentiis, rachael ray, emeril lagasse, bobby flay, anthony bourdain, rachael ray, tyler florence, among others.

for your reference,
i've attached a bit of info about cooking for south beach wine & food festival's signature event,
bubble Q BBQ, and about fiu school of hospitality, in general.

thank you for you time and patience.
please read and think about all of this info at your leisure,
i look forward to exchanging ideas with you.

enjoy your weekend,
and i'll speak w/u soon,


Wow. Just wow. I supposed if you twist my arm, I could forgive the fact it looks like a haiku verse gone wrong, since that could be an email formatting problem. I'll take sole blame for the fact my poor eyesight read all these references as the Flu School of Hospitality.

On the other hand, if someone can't come forward and prove to me that this p.r. gal's capitalization key is broken on her computer, I gotta bust her chops for this mess, and everyone who ever worked with this child in English class. Being in charge of promotions for a big-time university division typically requires you to present yourself more maturely and with a tad more polish than if you were texting your friends.

My fear is that she did pound this out on her iPhone, in which case she just sent the longest text message in history and was still too lazy to capitalize my name, the name of the event, the city, her school name, celebrities' names ...

But the real offense? I considered giving Ms. Lisa a pass because I don't want to come off like a complete witch every time I sit down at my keyboard. You'll notice I'm not waxing on about her use of punctuation or the rambling nature of this pitch.

Then she emailed it to me twice.


Janelle said...

Looks like an e.e. cummings poem. I can't believe that someone whose job mostly consists of writing could be such a poor writer.

(I kept reading "flu" too.)

Julie Sturgeon said...

Well, maybe I can stop fretting about how far off my prescription for glasses is, huh? Thanks for making me feel not so stupid on that score!

Uptake said...

Wow, oh wow is right. My guess is he was a student volunteer. Loved the "flu school of hospitality." I need to go to school to learn how to get the flu?

scrapbookobsession said...

Thank you for commenting on my blog. You were funny there, and you are funny here. Thanks for the laughs :)