Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Pretzel Logic

I quit.

It’s not because I suck at Pilates, mind you. I knew I had no flexibility when I signed up for the class at the Y. I knew I would find muscles in places that shouldn’t have muscles and then proceed to pull them all like a bundle of electronic wires. What I didn’t anticipate was an animosity toward my instructor.

This little bald guy sits in front of the class and taunts us. “You think this hurts? Wait until I get out the next exercise.” “Are you ready for crazy hard? Who isn’t ready for crazy hard? Where are my veterans – I know they can do this.” “Everyone assume the Book of Love position. Don’t tell me you don’t know what that is.”

Actually I don’t but I’m hoping when I get clued in that it’s twice as big as Gone with the Wind and available in hardback so it really smarts when I hurl it at him. (That is, I’ll throw it at him after I see a massage therapist to work the kinks out of my neck.) Get outta here – isn’t watching me fall on my face, fail to touch my toes, and struggle to straighten my leg up in the air a clue I’m a newbie here? What part of this pitiful display suggests that sarcasm and insults would be inspiring?

Most importantly, why am I showing up every Monday night and devoting an hour to listening to it? Sometimes you just have to question your own sanity.


CW Merv said...

Hmm, maybe try racquetball?

If you feel any animosity towards somebody on the racquetball court, you just nail him with the ball.
By accident, of course...

Sandra Collins said...

man I think I would wuit too - but then again I hate excercise

noeliaevangelista said...

I can totally relate to this. I once took a step class and I had asked at the gym's front desk before hand if this was suited for beginners and she said absolutely yes. Well, when I got to the class the instructor spotted me and asked if I was new and she told me that this was not suited for beginners but I could stay and "march" in place and watch...yep. Throughout the entire class I followed the crowd because I have previously done steps but I was out of the loop but I did the steps non the less and I was quite proud of myself because it came back to me but never again did I set foot in that class. Some instructors are just not good teachers and don't have charisma.

Michelle said...

This I would like a picture of.