I’ve heard all my life that travel is educational. Cynical me figured it was because some adult wanted to go to Disney World when the crowds are down in October. But I need to give that chestnut more weight – I mean, take a look at what I’ve learned from Beijing in just four days:
• Underwater cameras in the water polo pool do not transmit an attractive image.
• You can’t make cycling visually compelling, either. Not without Ben Hur-style spikes at least.
• Putting duct tape over the Nike swoosh doesn’t stop anyone in the world from recognizing this symbol.
• The 16-year-old Chinese gymnasts should compete next in coloring against the other kindergartners in their classes.
• Not even Bela Karolyi can decipher what Bela Karolyi is saying.
• Bob Costas’ wide-eyed little boy gaze isn’t working for him any more.
• Michael Phelps needs to lay off the Calvin Klein ads. Son, when someone in the excitement of celebrating pulls his pants down that far, there’s usually an action plan in mind. And my first hope was that it would ONLY involve peeing in the pool. NBC doesn't exactly want to broadcast history of another kind.
And just think, I gained all this insight without even going to the airport …