Friday, August 22, 2008

Don't Blink


Getting my official CLIA card requires more work of me than the next travel agent. You see, they insist on a passport photo. And when the photo is official, you need to have your eyes open.

I’m a champion blinker. For years, our albums have featured photos of me with my eyes glued shut, including all but one of our wedding pictures. Professional photographers sweat bullets trying to capture a salable shot of me, and a shoot takes hours. Which means when I showed up at the post office this afternoon for my official mug shot, these folks were about to have their own “get outta here” experience.

The first lady tried four times before handing off the camera to a large, tall guy named Randy, who was quite sure he was a better photographer than I was a blinker. Two attempts later, and I could see the frustration mounting for him, too.

But like a typical guy, he decided to power his way through it. He whipped out a second camera, twice as big as the first, and BAM! He set off a flash that felt like a someone took a spiked baseball bat to my eyeballs. I’m still seeing the little blue/brown outline of that rectangle.

Well, I have a photo CLIA will accept. Unfortunately, for the next few years, I’ll be known as the travel agent who looks like someone just plugged my finger in a light socket.

3 comments:

Creative Junkie said...

LOL! You do look a bit scared in that photo, but I've definitely seen worse. My old license photo is downright scary.

Katie Ubelhor said...

You are hilarious! I love your sense of humor. You definitely look like you're trying REALLY HARD not to blink in that photo. :)

Anonymous said...

I haven't laughed so hard while 'reading' a piece since reading Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest," back in college more than 30 year ago. I mean, you really had me doubled up at the computer. My eyes were watering.